who makes you feel okay about you

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I have been sitting here for the past half hour thinking about you. Thinking about what I could write that would be helpful or hopeful or practical or provoking for you to read. Or for me to write. Because I’m so often writing to myself, too, really. Saying things out loud to connect them or stretch them or poke around about whether I really believe them enough to see them in print.

And we went to Disney World last week, my husband and my daughter and me. So there are lots of stories I could tell, quite a few epiphanies I had, some surprises I encountered along the way.

But that’s all still sinking in.

I’m still coming down, I think, from the high of being able to focus all my attention on these two people I love so much for a whole six days—without email or voicemail or childcare and transportation logistics. That was some of the big magic in that Magic Kingdom.

So instead of stories about the newly minted roller coaster enthusiast in our family, I’ll leave you with this question I’ve been mulling lately:

Who makes you feel okay about you?

I’m not talking about flattering or enabling here. And I’m not talking about the other end of the spectrum either—the obvious tearing down. We can recognize that stuff pretty readily.

I mean: Who do you spend time with and walk away feeling good? Like you’re not too much. And you’re not too small either. Just okay about being you, whether your life is in a glorious phase or a shitcan season. Who is in your life that you don’t subtly make yourself bigger or smaller or more interesting or less intelligent or somehow more acceptable for?

These are the people who ground you—remind you who you are—in that miraculous way that actually allows you to grow and shift and change and experiment and screw up and succeed—all while knowing you are loved, all while knowing you are enough.

Some of these people you’ve known forever and a day. Some maybe just for a few months now.

Who makes you feel okay about you?

I bet you do the same for them.