It was 2007-ish, and I was sitting at the bar in our town, having big conversations with friends and listening to my now-husband play his weekly solo gig while the smell of beer and cigarettes soaked into my hair. Someone down the bar was talking. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. I heard that voice every week in the same place at the same time. It was our friend RB. It was his night out--Thursday night--and every week, he spent it at a bar called the James Joyce.
RB's wife also spent one night a week at the Joyce. Her night was Tuesday, I think.
They had a very small child at home at the time, and I didn't think much about it other than to muse that it was sort of odd to take a night out every week to go to the same place--but not at the same time.
Years later, when our daughter was about 3, I'm pretty sure it was my husband who remembered it and put it on the table as a possibility for us. And then I mostly thought what a brilliant idea it was.
We've been on the Tuesday-for-me/Thursday-for-him plan for three years now. Sometimes we go to the same place; sometimes we don't. Sometimes one or the other of us lets work overflow into that time; most of the time we don't. Sometimes I have a plan with a friend or meet with a creative group; sometimes I just wander the aisles of Target taking my sweet sweet time picking stuff up and putting it back down again.
We switch nights when we need to, and sometimes you just miss your night because it's the night before your kid starts first grade. But mostly, it happens.
And every week, it's nice to know that Tuesday evening is there for me. Just me.
We stole that idea from our friends. You can steal it from us if you want to.
I love you. And sometimes, we just want to be alone.