I stayed up late a few nights ago because I felt like my hair was on fire. I made something like 20 lists. I felt like I needed to get every single thing I had promised/decided/planned I would do out of my head and onto paper. It was a sort of quiet mania I had going on.
Staying up to make those lists helped me calm down that night. And it wrecked me for the next two mornings straight. Hm.
When we're in transition, when we're trying new things, when we're in the process of changing the way we are or do or move in the world--sweet merciful heaven, that is hair on fire time. And it's funny because we're stretching and growing, so we INVITED this new stuff in. And then the universe responds. And then we're still doing the old stuff or being the old way or at least thinking about the old stuff, AND we're trying on the new stuff and the new way, too. We're being two versions of ourselves at the same time. At least.
But I don't recommend staying up late and wrecking the next two mornings. We're too old for that shit.
Here are two things I do recommend:
1: Keep responding.
Tell people you'll get back to them next week; tell them you wish you could but you can't; tell them it's a great opportunity that you have to pass on this time. Tell them something. It's okay to say no or not right now. Either of those things will feel so very much better than not saying anything at all.
2: Keep your boundaries.
Leave the meeting when the meeting was scheduled to end. Take your kids swimming when you pick them up from school. Go to bed when you planned to go to bed. (Ahem.) We (read: I) tend to let everything get loose and slippery when we feel overwhelmed. It's exactly the time we need strong boundaries to provide a container for our intensity.
3: Keep your fire extinguisher nearby. I mean that metaphorically.
Know that most things you start are things you can shut down if you really need to. Kids are an exception. Earning money to live. Taking care of sick loved ones. Maybe there are a few more. But most things you start are things you can stop. Sometimes just reminding yourself of that is helpful.
With scorched eyebrows, I send you love. You are not alone.