i see you, mama

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i see you, mama

 

i see you 

 

taking a deep breath

dressed for a meeting

while she collects rocks 

on the way into school 

one minute before the late bell rings

 

squeezing in a midweek grocery 

trip to pick up more of the orange 

cheese because he really needs the orange 

cheese in his lunch 

it's the most important part

 

soothing the introvert in your 

heart and reaching out for a playdate because 

everyone else is having playdates and 

she wants to have one too

 

jolting yourself out of spreadsheets out of

emails communications meetings research out of

online classes writing rehearsing and 

dashing out the door to pick up on 

time

 

listening to descriptions of imaginary encounters 

between characters with names like Twinklefaddle 

or Nitronicus trying to ask pertinent questions and 

not burn the cauliflower rice

 

wondering if the way you said that thing 

just now in that voice they call your mean 

voice will stay with them forever in a bad

way or actually in a good way or 

maybe will just disappear and maybe 

it's not that big a deal for god's sake

 

looking at your partner and reminding 

yourself to say good morning 

before you start strategizing 

about the logistics of the day

because the service engine light is on

 

arriving at yoga completely stressed out 

from rushing away from a conversation 

and driving in terrible traffic and 

seeing you forgot to bring anything 

to deal with your period but dammit 

you're doing this self care because 

this is the time you've got

 

i see you breathing squeezing soothing jolting listening wondering looking arriving

loving

loving

loving

imperfectly

and also well enough

 

mama,

you are seen

you are loved

you are not alone