i left out some stuff

That thing I wrote yesterday, it was all true, and I believe it, but I left out some important stuff. It was kind of the social media version, a highlight reel of happy people happily recovering  from various colds and cruds.

So, I'd like to try to be a bit more honest about what my brain does when I'm calling in sick. Here's what happens:

When I'm sick for a few days, I cancel stuff if I possibly can, and I rest. And that's a good new evolution in my life for all the reasons I said yesterday. And also . . .

When I'm sick for a few days and I cancel something, I always think other people will believe I'm being wimp or just bailing on them. Even though I never think that when I'm in their position.

When I'm sick for a few days and I reschedule a work thing, I always think other people are going to be annoyed and believe that I'm not really as sick as I say I am. Even though I never think that when I'm in their position.

When I'm sick for a few days and I have to miss a thing I really want to do, I always think everyone else is going to have an amazing, mountaintop bonding kind of experience, and I'll never truly be part of the group again after missing it. Even though I have never felt a lesser bond with a friend or family member because they missed out on that one fun thing that one time.

When I'm sick for a few days and I have to postpone creative work, I always think other people are going to assume that I'm not as dedicated as they are. Maybe because I actually used to think that about other people sometimes (even though I was wrong about it).

When I'm sick for a few days and don't help with the morning stuff or the bedtime stuff for days on end, I always think my husband is secretly resentful and thinks I'm faking a little bit. Even though when he's super sick I don't expect his snotty, germy, sad self to help out.

When I'm sick for a few days, I'm secretly relieved when I'm all the way to can't-get-out-of-the-bed sick because even though I'm miserable, I don't have to make a choice about it.

I think all of those unfounded things every dang time I get sick for a few days. Do you do that, too?

If you are trying to take care of yourself, even while one of those tapes up above runs through your head: you are not alone.

The next time you cancel so you can recuperate, know that I am out here cheering you on as you let your body get some rest.

Alrighty. Thanks for listening again today. See you here next week.