shhhhhhhhhh

oh crap i didn't get to that that's going to be a problem i wonder if i can squeeze it in tonight after the kids are in bed but i promised myself i wouldn't do that i wasn't going to open any screens after bed tonight i don't think it'll take long oh and i didn't respond to my sister's text i can do that while i'm waiting to pick up the knives from sharpening i should've taken all of them at once i knew i should've taken all of them at once i don't know why i thought i could get out there twice in one week i also didn't get one more thing for N's stocking shit now he has four stocking things and she only three stocking things i wonder if there's anything in the closet that's little i could wrap up and put in there i've gotta clean out that closet it's like the worst feng shui in the world world world world the world is going to hell in a handbasket and i'm worrying about stockings and feng shui ah fuck i meant to sign that petition before midnight what am i doing i miss my grandmother do i have jeans for tomorrow note to self: that load needs to be rewashed sat too long in the dryer stinks really bad i think her favorite shirt is in there the one she probably wants to wear to special dinner while we're there SHIT i didn't reply to my mother about the thing SHIT i promised i'd play the game tonight SHIT i didn't get the candy canes up on the railing we didn't make the favorite cookies we make every year i didn't figure out a way for us to go caroling this is the first time i haven't gotten a present for the dog i forgot to add my great aunt to my christmas card list i didn't get a card to go with the present for my kid's teacher i didn't send holiday greetings to my clients my father-in-law's present is totally uninspired i forgot to buy deodorant.

 

Shhhhhhh. Take a break now, Part of You That Wants Everything to Be Just Right.

Shhhhhhh. You've done what you could. Now go to sleep.

Shhhhhhh. Thank you for helping get so much done. We can do without you for a bit.

There will plenty waiting there to be worried about in a day or two. 

For now, let go.

 

I love you, including the part of you that wants everything to be just right. And you are not alone.