the simplicity of admitting we screwed up

I messed up and accidentally posted don't believe yourself.  it's okay to be slow. before I meant to.  I know that's not the biggest deal in the world, but at first I got super upset about it because I had a whole plan for a series of posts, and now it's out of order and, well, it wasn't my PLAN.

Here's what happened:  We were about to get a big snow that would put our power out, close schools, and generally up-end things.  Knowing it was coming, I was jamming like crazy on five super-big-deal grant proposals due in five short days.  I was handling it.  Very well.  Hey, look at me not being overwhelmed!

And then I took a break and checked my email.

And I saw this blog post in my inbox.  From myself.  And I believe I may have shouted, "Noooooo!"  And then, "No no no no no no no!"

It seems I accidentally put it in the "Scheduled" folder instead of the "Draft" folder.  And apparently, I was just one mistaken-post-publishing shy of overwhelm.

My daughter came running in the room from playing with her dad.  When I told her I made a big mistake, she patted my back and said: "It's okay, mama.  You can start over."

I confess that it took me a day or two to embrace that.  First, I had to wiggle around in my brain (power outage and big deal grant deadlines notwithstanding) trying to figure out how I could scramble, stay up really late, crank out the next posts, and dump my other ideas.  Maybe I could fix it!  And no one would ever have to know!

Alright, so I didn't do that.  Instead, I'm going to modify my original plan and share a couple of posts that aren't about being slow while I write the ones I promised about the loveliness of slow projects.

I probably didn't need to write this post to explain that.  

I decided to publish it, though, because holy moly we are all the time messing up.  

Maybe we've been able to find a lovely Zen with spilling an entire half-gallon of almond milk or forgetting to get gas.  We might even admit that kind of accident to our kids almost proudly--taking deep breaths and using it as an it's-okay-to-make-mistakes moment.

But being up front about more public mistakes is harder, right?  They carry bigger what-if consequences.

What if people get mad at me?  What if I just tanked our entire business/organization/family?  Or ohsweetlord WHAT IF THEY THINK I'M FLAKY? Ah, hell, I'm just gonna zoom around, exhaust the crap out of myself, and fix it--and my creative-leader-mama identity as person-who-does-things-right will remain intact!

What if simplicity could get us out of that fix-it-scramble--at least some of the time?

Here's what this mistake--and other recent kerfluffles both large and small--have reminded me:

Taking a little time before I jump in to fix my mistakes shows me that, at least 50% of the time, they're not as earthshaking as they feel when I first realize them.  It just takes a minute (or a day or a week!) to adjust perspective after that rush of adrenaline.

And also:  Being honest about my mistakes is just simpler.  No secretive scrambling required.

Whew.