how being a mama is making me a better theatre artist (and vice versa)

installment four || caring about it less and enjoying it more

i love my creative work.  i want to say that unequivocally.  not once in my adult life, including now, have i been completely without a creative project of some size or shape.  i love being obsessed with my project of the moment.

but something has shifted with the birth of my daughter.  i'm still obsessed with the creative projects in front of me, but they're not keeping me up at night.  she is.  and that seems appropriate.  i'm not worrying them into the ground or pushing them into being quite so hard, because i'm spending that time watching her discover what her laugh sounds like.

funny thing is, i think it's making my creative time stronger.  i enjoy it more.  i let it breathe a little bit.  if it doesn't work, i don't try to beat it into submission, i just take a break and come back to it later.  i still love it just as much, but i'm caring about it less and enjoying it more.  does that make sense?